Between now and the end of February, I’m creating a regular space in my life and on my blog to help me practice focusing on my emotional journey to alignment.
I’ll be:
- posting videos from YouTube.com,
- writing to share and support myself and
- making writing the invitation to help me focus on the journey.
I’m considering everything, as I go. I have no hard and fast plan, just a few ideas about getting back to basics. Stuff you might already know how to do and, like me, have forgotten how much it strengthens me internally when I do it.
It’s been a couple of weeks since I posted. I’ve been into another void of sorts. And I’m happy to say that I’m doing a lot better at loving myself through this one than I did the last time this happened.
What happened? Oh, you know, things are running along smoothly and then bam! You hit tired, or exhausted or anything in between. And this eventually, for me at least, leads to doing nothing. Which is the point that I get now.
But not too long ago I beat myself up for not being able to figure out where the void came from or why the void came… basically fixing the shit outta stuff that’s not broken.
I smudge to clear a space. A room, a house, myself.
I smudge when I’m changing. I change shape, I change my mind, I change my hair color from blond to dark brown, border-line black.
When I smudge, I acknowledge growth. Or change. I honor the past. Thank it. In through the nose… exhale.
Come sit in the smudge. Watch the sunlight catch in a swirl. And disappear. Like the past, easing it goodbye gently. Realizing that some goodbyes can also mean I love you.
And with intention and ritual, clear your space.
I think it’s easy to get lost in planning. In processes. In setting future-oriented goals to move toward.
It’s all good.
In a lot of ways, our structure gives us freedom. To flow with our creativity. To be more intentional with it.
And then a bad day hits. Knocking our processes and plans for the future out of kilter.
And you wonder where all your tools and resources went for weathering this, another stormy season.
I would say if the fear Jedi had a daily practice, like Qi Gong or something, it would be the act of making it her intention to approve of herself, constantly. In a mantra-like way.
Dear Self: Would it be OK if I choose the easy way this year?
Lately, in the Twittersphere, there’s been lots of talk about goal setting. And yearly reviews. And 2010 objectives. And every time I read one, I mentally say “Ugh!”
That familiar feeling of discomfort. Measuring sticks and progress reports.
I remember getting ranked a number when I was in corporate. On a scale of 1-5, 3 was performing to normal or required expectations. A 4 was above expectations. And 5, exceptional (like it doesn’t and can’t happen every year).
