Fear

At the end of 2011, when my watchwords (creativity, honesty & soulful purpose) for 2012 appeared, I had no idea just how much they’d become companions for my journey through Cancerville.

Even though Fall has officially begun, I want to talk about how I spent my summer, and how creativity has shown up as part of my journey to wellness.

Most of the other people I’ve met in Cancerville have a challenging time with the notion of giving grace in the face of this difficult diagnosis; referring to cancer as a beast which conjures up ideas of noble fights and merciless warriors focused on destruction of the enemy. Destruction, enemies, fighting… do not feel or sound like Love to me, but fear.

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Redesign.

Go ahead, BE A FOOL! Expansion is worth it :)

It can be a scary word or an exciting word, when you’re a web presencer like me.

I’ve had clients joke around about it immediately after launch. I’ve had clients seriously reconsider everything right at or just before launch (fear rears it’s ugly head in the form of self-doubt). And, in many more situations, I’ve had clients who feel in desperate need of a redesign because their existing web space feels terribly incongruent for who’ve they become today.

That is why this word, redesign, is both scary and exciting. Scary at the thought of “starting over again” and exciting because renewal has energy. An energy that can help propel us to the next place we want to go.

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Closer To My Dreams

October 22, 2010

This Friday, I’m in touch with deep feelings of gratitude and thanks. Seriously. I’m not just saying that ‘cuz I’m a coach and optimystical.

Gratitude for a 7 week old kitten. That just mysteriously “landed” in my universe Monday, October 11th. Mewing from under a car, where I crawled and maneuvered so I could catch him and pull him out of a wheel-well. So so scared. Heart beating fast. I remember hearing his cries for mom beginning around 4 am that morning and wondering “who’s kitty has been left outside?”

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Leveraging Joy

October 20, 2010

I got some feedback from clients, when I shared out loud about the fear and anxiety I have around managing my business growth and expansion. Specifically, having more clients than I think I have the time and energy to support.

Being too full or too busy to serve each of you well. Being concerned for my own well being. Wanting to get clear on what makes me really happy with what I’m doing, so I can focus on doing more of that. And asking for/getting support with the other pieces.

I said my fear and then a few of you said your own.

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[This post contains a video, so you might need to click through if you're reading this via email or RSS.]

Last week, I shared about changes I’m personally making in me. Enormous internal ones and how those internal shifts create experiences in my external world.

I shared specifically, about how I have a sore spot, my belief in my own inferiority, and how it was activated during a mobile notary tale. I talked about how my new awareness of the inferiority is showing up, my desire to practice changing it and how that manifested for me.

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[This is a video post, so you might need to click through if you're reading this via email or RSS.]

On my walk yesterday, this song came on Pandora on my Droid. And I listened like it was brand new, even though the song is from 2006.

In one of the various movies that often frequent my headspace, I saw a wiser, older version of myself. She was singing to the me in this now, here with you.

The words caught me first. Especially the one’s about fear.

But when I came across this beautiful homespun video, the imagery of children at play and the “i love you’s,”  I was moved to share it with you.

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Last week, three people asked me about what I had learned after doing the Free Coaching gig I offered at the end of April.

When three people ask, I know it’s time to write. Not that I’ve been looking for things to write about. That appears to me, in every nook & cranny of my life.

But a bigger, underlying false premise behind what stops me from writing is thinking it’s not valuable, relevant or meaningful enough to share.

And since three are asking, I figured even though it feels weird and funky and foreign… I’m willing to share it through my eyes. The things I learned from giving 30 days of free coaching away…

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I think the modern day Jedi is an agent for love. For creating an impact in our world by being the change.

No, I’m not a total Star Wars geek. I was about 8 years old when the first movie came out. I fell in love with Luke and then Han Solo (because he was the “bad boy” and I’m really attracted to rule-breakers). Leah, though, I saw as a mystical warrior princess. LOVED her! Wanted to be like her.

On my own personal path, I’ve been drawn to figuring things out. Figuring myself out mostly. What made me happy? Why wasn’t I more happy more of the time? What is the source of happiness, contentedness?

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This post is part three of a short-series inspired by Danielle LaPorte (more about the beginning of that is here.)

I’m curious if you are among some people I’ve been hanging out with and talking to who are feeling a changing tide in how people engage in business.

Gone is the old paradigm of doing whatever you have to in order to please/keep a client. Sorry, I will not stand on my head for you because, I promise, it still will not make you happy!

Instead, one of the big reasons many of us decided to do our own thing, is to call the shots. And be a little more aware of who we are engaging with and why. And making choices from an entirely different place.

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I think it’s easy to get lost in planning. In processes. In setting future-oriented goals to move toward.

It’s all good.

In a lot of ways, our structure gives us freedom. To flow with our creativity. To be more intentional with it.

And then a bad day hits. Knocking our processes and plans for the future out of kilter.

And you wonder where all your tools and resources went for weathering this, another stormy season.

I would say if the fear Jedi had a daily practice, like Qi Gong or something, it would be the act of making it her intention to approve of herself, constantly. In a mantra-like way.

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“I find myself going back to her insights and observations over and over again.”Leigh Taylor Ellis (astrology)