I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while. For a long while actually. But holding back for various reasons, a multitude of them. I seem to have an endless supply of reasons “not to” as well as a very bad habit of holding back which I’m working on.
I’ve been really wanting to talk about some very personal stuff. To tell “my part” of a certain story. And since I’m a coach and all that, the first thing I like to do is check my intention. Why do I want to tell the story? Is it really for me or do I secretly have some other agenda… like to make someone pay or eat shit (which is totally not my style) or for some other low-lying fear-based reason.
And then I get an email from a client. About her web stuff. She’s extremely uncomfortable. She really wants to do it (use the web to promote the cool thing she does), but is terrified at the same time. I say, “Hmmm” to myself. But only after totally being blown away by her courage and her willingness and her vulnerability to admit it not only herself, but also to me. She’s uncomfortable.
And I start to remember all the other times in my life I’ve been uncomfortable. And if it was a willing price to pay to get to the other side. And what is really worth being uncomfortable. Are my dreams worth it? Is doing what I love worth it? Is loving who I love worth it? Is being who I am worth it?
All worth it, I realize.
Growing yourself or a business, learning how to be a better you… all uncomfortable. Mostly because there’s a lot of groping and tears and frustration. Flailing in the darkness of not knowing and not knowing how to know. Just. Not. Knowing.
It’s time that we admitted the truth about knowing. It’s highly overrated.
And if you want any of it: your dreams, an online business, to love who you love, to be who you are, you’ve got to get more comfortable with uncomfortable. There is just no way around it.
So I’ve decided I will probably tell my part of the story. Just not in this post. It’s still percolating or rather, I’m still percolating in uncomfortable. At least for a little while longer. And since I know there is no other way around it, there is only through it… I figure the best thing I can do is take really good care of myself while I’m here, hanging out with uncomfortable.
I’m learning how to make peace with uncomfortable. To offer it the best of what I’ve got.
I’m willing to hang out in uncomfortable as long as it takes. I’m realizing that being willing to be uncomfortable and hang out there and make peace with it is risky business.
Just like writing and telling my part of the story. Just like getting up everyday and coming to my Inbox. Just like putting together your thing and getting it online and out there. The journey to out there is uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable on the way, it’s uncomfortable just before I get there, and uncomfortable when I finally reach my destination. All of it, uncomfortable.
So why not make peace with it now? And learn how to take care of myself better now. What sweeter revenge could their possibly be (if I was a revenge-seeking kinda gal) than to learn how to notice uncomfortable and greet it with an open door. Come on in. Sit down. Stay awhile. Let’s get to know each other.
Uncomfortable. It isn’t really all that horrible now is it?