We all are. In the process of giving birth. Have you felt it?
Each of us being individually activated. Living out our own personal dramas.
A Summer solstice, eclipses, the cardinal grand cross.
I personally have been experiencing my own resistance. Getting in my own way.
I know I’m doing it. I know what to do about it. But I choose to sit and stew.
Last week, I did hardly anything (that I thought I should be doing anyway). I spent a lot of time with Hulu and Netflix. Trying to escape the incessant voices in my head telling me how much work I had to do and reminding me there are people waiting for me.
I did walk every single day. A small reprieve from thinking I’ve completely given up on myself.
I also wrote a post that I think is the beginning of my next big thing. I guess that’s why I didn’t publish it, feeling it’s not-done-ness. It’s still in that part of the creative process that remains fuzzy and unclear to me. Like looking at things under water.
I admitted out loud to several of my people that I’m mending a broken heart.
Every time I speak to someone, right now, I hear about how much is shifting all around them. Many of us experiencing huge internal transformations whose ripples will color our summer of 2010 one none of us will soon forget.
Forget crossing through thresholds. We are propelled into new realities where what we think about life, our selves, and our relationship to it is radically unclear.
In any case, I’m reminded of important thing number one. And that is, to surround myself with people who adore me landed by the one & only duck + @havi. (I can’t seem to find the original post I read where she said this, but she did. And if you’re curious, she does mention the word “adore” in this one, which is basically along the same lines.)
People, who when I connect with them, I feel more free to be me. Not aware of any filtering of any kind. Just simply expressing myself in all my optimystical (or lack thereof) glory.
My people are midwives, a coach, a special girl named Andrea, a few friends. The kind of people where you can sit in your shit and they just hold your hand with you.
And important thing number two I’m actually constantly working on making important thing number one which is upping the ante on self-adoration. The underlying key to everything really.
What can I do today to adore myself?
Yeah, adore my self.
Simple choices. Like walking. Drinking water. Listening to good music. Petting the cat. Emptying the trash. Doing the dishes. Putting the top down on the Miata. Saying I love you. And later tonight, Taco Tuesday with my honeybee.
Being pregnant is about nurturing ourselves. Being in the process of letting in and letting go. Trusting what’s coming. Even when it’s not terribly clear.
Today, I’m adoring myself by remembering not to hold on too tight and to enjoy the ride (thank you James Taylor).