Choices & Intersections

November 21, 2009

I’ve been thinking about relationships lately. Relationships as intersections. And people and destiny. And all that fated stuff.

And how, in the intersections, we get connected.  What is the magic that is that connection? For two people. Connections like the ones with our children, our lovers, our clients and our teachers (the ones helping us continue to expand and experience more).

And I’ve been thinking about powerful people. And when a particular intersection feels destined or fated. And what it’s like to have big things rattling you and disintegrating your attention. And it more than rattles your attention, it wakes you up! From a dream where you might not have thought you were even sleeping.

And then, with the attention span of a gnat, wondering to myself, “Where did my focus go?” Oh. Yeah. It’s over there. On that. The thing that has my attention. The thing that’s waking me up.

Whatever that thing is… there is this fated quality about it. It feels a little bigger than the rest of everything else. Maybe because I thought I was already awake, but I’m beginning to realize that I don’t think I really was. That it’s a little scary to contemplate how much I don’t know.

I get overwhelmed quickly. By my thoughts trying to figure it all out. Because I’m also realizing that with everything I think I know, the less I understand. Really understand.

I’m not sure I ever do. At some point, it becomes easier to just surrender to that oblivion. I understand nothing. And yet have the means to creatively summon together endless forms of possibility becoming new universes.

Really?

Well this is probably what clinging looks like then.

Fate or Something Else?

I like that when something “fated-ish” happens in my life, I can look at it from an astrological perspective and always find a finger pointing back at reality. This is comforting to me. Helping to soothe a part of my nature that seeks security in all forms (Taurus). Telling the Bull she can relax into the rhythms of the unknown and discover what looks or feels like chaos is really an orchestration in divine perfection.

Using astrology, I can also continue to support myself in the midst of transition. The evolutionary constant. Astrology helps me see what pattern or cycle is already being supported within the underlying context of some great big divine order.

And when it comes to the people, who I’m sharing my life with, well astrology just keeps uncovering. Some kind of explanation for what words have a hard time translating. Only what the heart and regions of the heart can know and for which there is an entirely different language. With astrology, I can see the connections.

Why the “it” from before woke me up. Connections. Why I’m waking up. Connections. Where I am waking up. Some awakenings happening slowly, like a gentle sunrise. Some are more abrupt. Having the energy of a locomotive. You cry out, “What freakin’ train just hit me?” Connections.

Connection energy is palpable. I appreciate noticing its force and suddenness because then I know it’s real. When it’s that sometimes slow and methodically constant, turning the giant wheels in the sky, moving us through time and space, I’m dreaming again and don’t know it.

Using astrology has helped me understand me better. And give myself room. Room for stuff I’ve had a hard time seeing before. Parts of me that judge good & bad, or insists on rushing it, or is really good at ignoring it or denying myself. No, you can’t have that. But why can’t I?

Oh ok, Saturn is involved. The cop that says stop. Ok. I get that. I really get that.

Using astrology helps me understand the people in my life better too. Also giving me understanding about the dynamics of what gets created when we unite our intention, the relationship itself. It is its own thing.

Everything is. Anything born. A business. A nation. A child.

A season. Which astrology is ultimately all about. The seasons of change. Cycles. Movement. Nature. Math. Ugh, yes math. A lot actually. Thank goodness for computers!

Is destiny real? Within each intersection, who or what decides the connection? Will we hang out for a while or just simply pass each other by? Are some of those intersections fated? And maybe it’s not so much the meeting itself that is karmic, but what we choose to say or do to each other in the intersection?

Choices & intersections.

Timing

Intersections come and go in life. Everyday. All the time.

Literally as frequently as each stop sign in traffic. Interesting. To me.

We have intersections on the road of life. At some of them we stop and chat. We connect. Sometimes we end up hanging out, for a while. A time for sharing great love.

Other times, we pass each other by without ever thinking twice about connecting on a deeper level. There is a deeper level ‘calling’ that comes, urging us forward into an uncertainty. And in those crossing-the-intersection moments, we are never called. The urge never appears and we don’t go deeper.

And sometimes, it feels like we’ve connected and yet the intersection is almost not existent. Feeling like life rushed us by it in a swirl of hurry and we can never go back. Or at least, feel challenged to see the possibility of a next-time intersection. And yet the calling is still present. A desire to connect, hang out, create great love.

And sometimes the urge is there, and the wanting to reach into the deepness and we simply don’t allow ourselves to have that voice, to accept what we want and create the space in the intersection.

So I’m thinking about how I will be using my intersections.

Noticing and nurturing who is showing up? And having deep gratitude for the awareness of my intersections.

And then cherishing a bit more. Some intersections are fast & freaky. Some are long and lovely. And I want to cherish it all, not comparing one to the another. Just allowing my heart to take in what is available to me. And allow to flow past me with deep gratitude, the things that are meant to flow past me. Being grateful for the intersection. Learning to trust and have faith in the deeper undercurrent of Divine Order.

And how wonderful it all really is.

Contentment is golden. The real way to raise above wants is not to want anything. If it comes, let it come. If it goes, wonderful, let it go. @SwSatchidananda

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