Optimysm + Expansion

Dream constantly of the ideal;
work ceaselessly to perfect the real.

Believe in yourself;
believe in everybody;
believe in all
that has existence.

Give the body added strength;
give the mind added brilliancy;
give the soul added inspiration.

Do your best under every circumstance,
and believe that every circumstance
will give its best to you.

Live for the realization of more life
and for the more efficient use
of everything that proceeds from life.

Desire eternally what you want;
expect eternally what you desire;
and act always as if every expectation
were coming true.

Your Forces and How to Use Them,
by Christian D. Larson [1912], at sacred-texts.com

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“So how’s chemo going?” she asked. “How are you feeling?” I told her the truth. My truth. We all have one. They are the stories we live.

From the start, it was easy to see that around 90% of the people going to this support group are telling themselves all the same story.

It’s comprised of elements of what’s reflected to them from an external world. A world that says, “This is truth.”

The world’s story about [breast] cancer goes like this…

[ intentionally left blank so you can just be with your own thoughts and watch them race by like Malibu Grand Prix drivers in the finishing straight away bearing down on the checkered black & white flag. ]

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Full Moon Indian Guide

The moon was so bright, that it backlit the trees. And of course, as I played in MagicHour last night, trying to get a nice enhancement of the clouds and got ready to post to Instagram (the flare was not produced by a filter), I noticed the face in the tree (check around 2 o’clock if the moon was the center of the dials).

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eyelashes

June 29, 2012

On Wednesday, I had a personal moment. while in the bathroom applying my mascara, the thought crossed my mind for the umpteenth time.

“they’re all gonna fall out.”

and i felt my chest heave up. my nostrils flare open. i was sucking it in.

eventually, you have to let it go. and i did. my breath. and a ton of other girlie thoughts about them.

At my first oncology visit, the nurse practitioner was gazing over the doctor’s shoulder as he did the standard health check on me. gently pressing his stethascope into my chest, she stood behind him looking directly into my eyes.

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Inspired by Havi Brooks, I’m gonna do a Friday Chicken. I might even ask her if she’s still using her turquoise wig, well because, it’s cute & I’m gonna be bald here real quick-like.

Anywhoodles… this is an update from Cancerville. Ya ready for cancer my way?

Sunday was Father’s day. I sailed in Long Beach with my dad. What can I say? Bliss. And just the way I thought a girl should spend the day before her first round of chemotherapy.

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Cancerville & Wonderland

June 13, 2012

Do you know how long the diagnosis process is? It’s long & hard. The not-knowing part is hard on you & your loved ones. And Western Medicine, in all of its wonderful technological advancement, is super thorough.

It’s been six-ish long weeks since I received my initial diagnosis. Really, the very beginning of a process that is requiring patience, letting go & trust.

For the last six weeks or so, I’ve followed cancer. Sometimes because I had to (which is really a choice).

Somewhere after letting go and letting go even more again… you just keep letting go. And surrendering.

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So, yeah… cancer. My life has changed in so many ways. Duh, right!? I’ve received an outpouring of L.O.V.E. Some shock, disbelief, denial even (as-in no response whatsoever from people you thought might say something).

I choose, Life is busy, for all of us.

I choose, This is hard & difficult news about someone you love & we each have different skills & tools (& timelines) for processing the information.

I choose, To see innocence. And not to judge. Because I am certain I am loved.

Hopefully since my last post though, you’ve been thinking about hugs since

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Life is a-bloom since our new zodiac year began at the Spring Equinox, (or Ostara from the old calendar) and today, is the celebration called Beltane—meaning bel-fire—ushering in the light half of the year, a time of fertility and abundance.

Beltane or May Day, the beginning of summer.

This celebration is opposite Samhain (Halloween, or the beginning of winter) and draws a line down the center of our great wheel of life—separating it into two halves—light and dark.  Two hemispheres. Equal. Balanced. Reciprocating in ways that create & expand time & space as we understand it.

The Celtic Wheel of Life

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Your Soul Garden

April 27, 2012

Plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.

Comes The Dawn by Veronica A. Shoffstall. © 1971.

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That Day In The Garden

March 28, 2012

What I imagine the apple said to Eve on that day in the garden…

“Life will break you.

Nobody can protect you from that,

and living alone won’t either,

for solitude will also break you with its yearning.

You have to love.

You have to feel.

It is the reason you are here on earth.

You are here to risk your heart.

You are here to be swallowed up.

And when it happens that you are broken,

or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near,

let yourself sit by an apple tree

and listen to the apples falling

all around you in heaps,

wasting their sweetness.

Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”

Eva Herzigova in El Jardín Secreto de Eva’ (Eva’s Secret Garden), El Pais Moda, March 2010. Original photo by Giampaolo Sgura.

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“The process was daunting to me at first, but Mynde was reassuring and supportive, she emphasized taking it one step at a time.”~ Laura Jacquemond, BlueTerracotta.com (web)